I’ve decided that I’m going to write more. I’m going to think less about how it’s written and spend more time conveying ideas. I’ve realized that I don’t write or share my thoughts because I’m too afraid that people aren’t going to understand what I want to say, or god forbid, I make some sort of grammatical or spelling error and the world sees that I’m not perfect. Well, I’m not perfect. I can see how my obsession with perfection is holding me back: my ideas are trapped in my head, incapable of escaping, so they slowly wither away until they’re just brief memories that I might not ever think about again. How tragic. I want to get past this. I want to push myself into the realm of imperfect, transitory, confusing thoughts. And I want to convey those thoughts to the world despite the risk that the world might not understand me, or worse, might reject me for thinking such things.
I’m currently a graduate student at Dartmouth College pursuing a Master’s Degree in Cultural Studies. I just returned to school from winter break, and during my time away, I was thinking about writing more because of my job as a TA to undergraduate students learning to write better. I repeatedly tell them to ditch the perfection and embrace vulnerability, but I myself do not practice this. I describe all the benefits of careless expression to them, like 1.) imperfect ideas have the potential for expansion, but they must be explored and dappled with first; 2.) writing more means more practice, which, over time, means improvement; 3.) ideas come and go unexpectedly, so unless we embrace them, they might go away and never come back again.
I think it’s time to practice what I preach: it’s time to write more, make more mistakes, and embrace chaos for the sake of inspiration.
My motivation for writing this post is to 1.) inform my three subscribers that I’ll be writing more so they can either a.) unsubscribe or b.) enjoy the imperfect ride, and 2.) set the groundwork for my future self. This is the moment that I’m writing my intentions into reality. This is where I start. Right now, in this post. This post is literally what I’ve been thinking about today, and this is me writing it down. I had an idea and now I’m telling you, dear reader.
I like the idea of having an archive of ideas, and that’s what I’d like to create: a portfolio of inspiration. By the end of the winter term, I’m hoping that my website will be full of sprouting ideas that I can pursue at my leisure.
Here’s to ideas, experiencing inspiration, staying engaged, and pushing myself forward.